youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
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