WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
