Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
she smelled like a LAN party
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
