question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
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