I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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