Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
