try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
