He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I think my fart just growled at me.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
