Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
