i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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