That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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