i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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