All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
