Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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