Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Randomize
