Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
