Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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