Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Randomize
