if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Randomize
