remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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