On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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