No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
