doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
