I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
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