the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
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