no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
Randomize
