Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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