Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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