So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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