I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
