So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
