..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
