I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
