Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
