Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
ugly people sure do ruin things
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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