last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
