I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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