the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
