I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
