I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
