So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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