Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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