no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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