Where is the hickey?
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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