If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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