dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
