I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
