he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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