if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
