Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
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