I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
