Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
You can't motorboat a personality
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Randomize
