For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
