Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
